Friday, December 31, 2010

JDS Insights: November 2010

OKOKOK...unconventional and ridiculous - two blog posts in one day.

I'm just tying up the loose ends.

A month of moving forward. My first Saturday detention, my second trainee teacher, yet another 30th and well...a house? Maybe.

Things moved quickly in November. I think this month showed how much life is about clearing stuff out the way for *other* stuff to arise.

Another month, another book too - this time engaging with Economics...I do love it! Capitalism 4.0: The Birth of a New Economy in the Aftermath of Crisis really starts to examine the current recession but is also a history of Capitalism. Interesting stuff.

Book and tech reviews might be a good thing to start to focus my ideas. Thoughts?

Yeah well...that was November.**
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01 Nov: Evolve or die.

02 Nov: Do nothing and shit builds up.

03 Nov: Heal physical bruising and battering with rest. Prevent with balanced diet and regular exercise.

04 Nov: Heal emotional bruising and battering with truthful conversation. Prevent with balanced listening and regular forgiveness.

05 Nov: Practising something means it doesn't disappear.

06 Nov: We don't live in a world of absolutes.

07 Nov: We are always looking into the past; literally, and metaphorically.

08 Nov: New stuff happens every day, hour, minute and second. We just don't pay attention to it.

09 Nov: People will say all sorts of stuff. I will do all sorts of stuff. The more they overlap the less free space for me.

10 Nov: It's not always easy to clarify what I want *intellectually*. But part of me knows it always expresses itself.

11 Nov: At the highest level, we all want the same thing.

12 Nov: Scarcity: a fundamental economic concept and driving force for no sharing.

13 Nov: The more I think about something,the more real it seems. The more I try *not* to think about something, the more real it seems.

14 Nov: We are surrounded by people who love us yet we don't always remember this.

15 Nov: Yes they *do* care. Despite what the voice in your head is telling you.

16 Nov: Clarifying feelings from truth takes a lot of discernment and practice.

17 Nov: Does earning money have to be difficult?

18 Nov: There *is* enough for everyone.

19 Nov: Inflexibility leads to breakages.

20 Nov: You can fit more into life than you realise.

21 Nov: One thing at a time increases effectiveness.

22 Nov: Open your eyes, mind and heart and deal with what's in front of you.

23 Nov: If you enjoy your job, there is no space for illness.

24 Nov: Practising helps but we aren't always clear what we practise.

25 Nov: Fear is perfectly natural. The choice is if it stops action.

26 Nov: It's not always clear how to do something when you first conceive it.

27 Nov: You just don't know until you take action.

28 Nov: Wisdom is not automatically earned through age.

29 Nov: Words communicate. Thoughts affect. Feelings influence. Action produces. But Being holds it all.

30 Nov: Does anyone have the answer? Depends on the question.
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**Acknowledge the source. Always.

JDS Insights: October 2010

I remember October being tough. And getting older.

First, my birthdays have stopped being a big deal. They pass. I'm always a little surprised by who doesn't remember. The relevant people always remember.

Second, I also re-engaged with something I turned my back on. I'm not sure if I'll regret it in the long-run.

Third, I acquired some new tech. A Kindle. Now I was cynical about it at first. I thought it was an excuse to make money...but technology evolves. I do quite a bit of reading and well...those books take up a lot of space.

Whilst in the US, I got to see what a Kindle was like. The screen blew me away. *Nothing* like a computer screen. It behaved like a book and felt like a book. My book collection is eventually going to be on the Kindle. I'll do a more in-depth post soon.

Finally, it was also a more reflective month. A two-week half-term does that, along with reading Simon Pegg's Autobiography - Nerd Do Well. What a great read...especially on the Kindle! I don't feel like such a weirdo for being really into things - geek chic and all that...

And that was October.**
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Oct 01: Friendships last, friendships change, friendships die, friendships fade.

Oct 02: No-one can force you to like something. You either do or you don't.

Oct 03: Choose the things you like carefully. They represent you.

Oct 04: Take on something bigger than you. You will expand to deal with it.

Oct 05: Rise to the challenge and challenges rise with you.

Oct 06: Your worries can be a path to fulfillment if you make them worthwhile.

Oct 07: Your worries can be a path to fulfillment if you choose them.

Oct 08: Clarify your commitments to conjure your creations.

Oct 09: Why worry? It's all made up anyway.

Oct 10: You can't resist aging but you can enjoy it if you want.

Oct 11: Sometimes you just have to go for it and life works itself out.

Oct 12: A pain in the neck can prevent me from looking at things from another angle.

Oct 13: Fuck it, let's do it anyway.

Oct 14: Truth? Make it up as you go along.

Oct 15: Play to the crowd and lose your Self.

Oct 16: Young people are struggling to grow up. Why do us older people make it harder?

Oct 17: Parents know what's good but not always what's best.

Oct 18: Strongly held opinions can stop me from seeing miracles.

Oct 19: If you don't look for it, you'll miss it.

Oct 20: If you missed it, there will be another. Provided you don't give up looking.

Oct 21: In the grand scheme of things does anyone really mess up their life? Everyone does what they do.

Oct 22: When it's time to rest, it's time to get ill.

Oct 23: I can tell someone what to think if I want to. That doesn't mean I will have any effect.

Oct 24: No-one can make you think anything you don't choose to.

Oct 25: Getting people to think is different from preparing for exams.

Oct 26: When I compare myself to others, everyone else seems cooler, more intelligent, more successful...am I missing something?

Oct 27: Expectations - a key ingredient to being upset.

Oct 28: Commitment - the main component of getting what you want.

Oct 29: Perhaps you can't choose your family. But you can choose how you are around them.

Oct 30: Life doesn't happen in neat and tidy compartments and conversations. It's messy.

Oct 31: You always know what to do. It's not always easy to take the required action. We see obstacles everywhere.

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** I created this. Acknowledge when you quote.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

JDS Insights: September 2010

I've got some time on my hands. Can you tell? I'm relaxing by updating my blog again!

September was back to school month. A whole new year and my career felt like it had been kick-started. Well only because I started to push and take on the things I wanted to.

Sometimes it's not just about job satisfaction though. Money and official announcements to others are appropriate recognition too. If people know that I'm accountable for something in my job, and I have the agreement from my managers, then it's much easier to get the job done. Of course, if people don't know and I don't have the agreement from my managers - the job is tough.

My career is down to me; I wrote and agreed my own job description. This is not unusual for me - my career path hasn't been conventional. I've always seemed to be creating my own roles and contributing in my own way to the organisation I'm a part of. I like doing that. It's free rein. It's actually being entrepreneurial within an institution - an intrapreneur.*

Apart from teaching, being a husband, brother and son presented their own challenges.

And one of my old friends got married. Which reminded me of old conversations and how it's normal to have ups and downs within a relationship.

I also started something new - Urban Krav Maga. I've always been aware of my physicality (i.e. I'm a short-arse) but never really considered learning any basic self-defence before. Whilst I have improved my fitness over the past couple of years, I've noticed I've needed to push myself a little. A moshpit is great for me to release aggression but using it effectively is a new path. I heard about it from a friend of Circusboy1 called ThefellaThefella is mental. In a good way. And wildly talented.

The Urban Krav Maga is tough: back aching, neck paining and knuckle grazing. No pain, no gain I guess. At least I'll punch less like a fucking cunt. I hope.

I enjoy being alive (mostly).

And that was September...**

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Sep 01: When I walk away from something I haven't finished, part of me stays with it.

Sep 02: If something isn't finished, or isn't going to get finished, say so.

Sep 03: We put so much in the way of loving the people close to us. 

Sep 04: What I think about something is different to reality. Trouble is I spend a lot of time in my head.

Sep 05: If you're committed to something, do what needs to be done. Thinking isn't getting it any closer.

Sep 06: Children learn from their Parents. Parents learn from their children.

Sep 07: Isn't there a time/ space between something happening and our senses perceiving it?

Sep 08: Being nice to people doesn't have to be difficult.

Sep 09: Money is the means not the end. The end is when we're dead.

Sep 10: In case you hadn't noticed - the future hasn't happened yet.

Sep 11: When reality is more interesting than the contents of my head, there is no need for drugs. And vice versa of course.

Sep 12: Everyone does their best in life with the tools they have. Seems that few people take the time to improve the tools.

Sep 13: There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say.

Sep 14: If I am committed to something and I ache, keeping going will make the pain stop.

Sep 15: Being unsure of direction means no progress.

Sep 16: It's ok to struggle.

Sep 17: Knowing when to stop and when to keep going is most of the battle.

Sep 18: Give up if you want. Just examine the consequences of your choice.

Sep 19: The more deeply you love someone, the deeper your capacity to cause them pain.

Sep 20: The more truth of yourself you reveal, the riskier life becomes. But greater is the ultimate fulfilment.

Sep 21: Your dreams never disappear they just get buried waiting to be rediscovered at the opportune moment.

Sep 22: Sometimes the people you love the most can be the scariest people in your life. They know *everything*.

Sep 23: Regardless of how they behave, the people you love the most are always helping you grow.

Sep 24: Don't try and hide anything from your siblings. They just *know*.

Sep 25: Your partner understands you in ways your family can't and won't.

Sep 26: The people who love you need to hear the great stuff that's happening in your life too.

Sep 27: You are stronger than you realise: physically and emotionally.

Sep 28: Sleep fast, live fully.

Sep 29: There are no right opinions - good, bad, cool, uncool - all a matter of opinion.

Sep 30: Friendship depends on our ability to pick up where we left off. Time and distance become irrelevant.

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*Yes it is an actual word!

** These words are all mine. I created them. Acknowledge when you quote.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

JDS Insights: August 2010

Better late than never!

Those of you that follow me on Twitter will know that my insights haven't dried up...just my posting to my blog.

August was a month of Sun and Family. Whilst I was enjoying the time off, I was coasting - spending money, finally getting round to finishing reading Frankenstein...and also - spending time at work.

The reason for being at work was because I knew I was going away at the end of August...which was kind of annoying because it meant I had no time before I would be back at school. There was no way I was going back into a new term without having done a LOAD of planning.

To that end, I would go into work in the morning and do something else in the afternoon...it worked well.

As for going away...well it was a family affair...a couple of weddings in August and all that I think about is the fraught, fun and frolics of the family.

That was August.*

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Aug 1: You can't really know someone unless you take time to listen for what they're passionate about.

Aug 2: Sometimes people don't realise their passions, talents and strengths. Yet its the source of happiness.

Aug 3: A to-do list is never complete. But it helps focus the mind and clear the head.

Aug 4: If you complete everything on your to-do list, your to-do list isn't complete.

Aug 5: There are some things on a to-do list that never get completed. They're too big. But they're always worth going for.

Aug 6: Aspiring to something big makes the journey worthwhile not the destination.

Aug 7: The sheer volume of crap I produce never ceases amazes me.

Aug 8: I will always forget just how selfish I can be and need constant reminding.

Aug 9: It's always worth considering that people close to me know my blind spots and that I don't.

Aug 10: If you can receive, it opens up space for more giving.

Aug 11: I can't protect myself from everything. Life is inherently risky.

Aug 12: Listen carefully between the lines. Sometimes what's not being said is as important as what is.

Aug 13: Trying to please everyone and get everyone to like me is no way to live life. What do I really want?

Aug 14: Too much analysis kills action.

Aug 15: I can't think of everything before acting. Sometimes I just have to act.

Aug 16: Here's a useful question: what am I great at? We don't ask ourselves that often enough.

Aug 17: Listen deeply to others. Choose and act for yourself.

Aug 18: A routine will develop habits. This can be done consciously or unconsciously.

Aug 19: Master your routine. Don't let it master you.

Aug 20: Life is more than just a bunch of routines. We are not computer programs.

Aug 21: Do we write the program of our life? Or are we letting someone else do it?

Aug 22: Stimulus/ response. Life is all about following stimuli.

Aug 23: If I go back far enough, is God the First Stimulus?

Aug 24: We go to the toilet to get rid of accumulated physical waste. How do we get rid of accumulated emotional waste?

Aug 25: Families come in all shapes and sizes, arguments and compromises.

Aug 26: What's happened to my parents doesn't have to happen to me.

Aug 27: All families have issues. I am not alone.

Aug 28: All families are different yet all are the same.

Aug 29: You can discover more about yourself in your first conversation with a stranger than you realise.

Aug 30: Urban living can disconnect us from each other. People are people in all places.

Aug 31: I'm not sure I ever really own anything.

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*Quote me liberally. Just say it was me.

Monday, August 02, 2010

JDS Insights: July 2010

July has been a difficult month.

I mean yeah school is over for the summer and I've got some time off.

But things never stop being challenging. Or fucking annoying and frustrating depending on your mood/ perspective.

Firstly, I started off July confronting my relationship with my body. Normally that can mean getting ill, but I mean also taking pleasure in my body. The whole area of sex was always fraught with fear for me. My school taught me the mechanics and biology; my parents did their best with the experience and feelings (i.e. nothing). What I've learned is that I enjoy and abuse my body in equal measure. To be fair to myself, I've learned to take much better care of my body and I feel so much better for it.

Secondly, the summer holidays always begin (and this month ends) with an opening to soul-searching/ reflection but also that splinter-in-my-brain; that negative-self-talking-voice-in-my-head making itself known. I'm no longer compelled to get up in the morning in service of some commitment. I can do anything and it's potentially a recipe for getting lost in my head.

That's where this blog helps.

Enjoy.*
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Jul 1: Getting ill isn't purely a physical phenomenon.

Jul 2: I have my own strengths. That doesn't make me a better person than you.

Jul 3: Why do we spend so much time working on our weaknesses instead of supporting our strengths?

Jul 4: My body knows more about my state of mind than I initially assume.

Jul 5: The body is a reflection of what's going on inside.

Jul 6: For most people, just because they are something doesn't mean they behave like one.

Jul 7: Who I am being is a choice. How I behave is also a choice. The closer they match, the easier life is.

Jul 8: Death follows life follows death follows life etc.

Jul 9: Am I just skin, bones, blood, guts or am I more than that?

Jul 10: There's more to living than just dying.

Jul 11: There is dignity in living well. Where is our dignity in dying well?

Jul 12: We all want to live an amazing life. Do we want to die an amazing death? Or are both of those just attention-seeking?

Jul 13: Masturbation is like eating a whole tub of Haagen Dazs. Instant pleasure. Longer regret.

Jul 14: One-night-stand fucking is like having fast-food. Instant gratification that lingers but leaves a bad taste in the body.

Jul 15: Having sex is like a three-course meal. Savour each lingering moment.

Jul 16: Making love is like spending a whole day with one special person. Complete-person sharing.

Jul 17: Nothing stays hidden forever.

Jul 18: If I say I hate someone, it's not them. It's what they represent. It's the part of myself that falls short of what I want.

Jul 19: In life no-one can (or needs to) hear you pray.

Jul 20: Do your own thing. Trust yourself. You know what's best for you. Your parents did their best. Fuck the rest of them.

Jul 21: It may not feel like it and you can't see it yet but we want you to succeed.

Jul 22: Everyone is loved.

Jul 23: Belief and faith are irrelevant 1: God loves everyone.

Jul 24: Belief and faith are irrelevant 2: everyone gets spiritual backup.

Jul 25: Belief and faith are irrelevant 3: God forgives everyone.

Jul 26: Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself. Life takes care of itself.

Jul 27: Being present allows choices based on all available data to serve what I'm up to. Question is what am I up to?

Jul 28: How can anything alter if I am always thinking about tomorrow or worrying about yesterday?

Jul 29: If I don't sit still occasionally the noise can't stop and I won't hear anything.

Jul 30: There are deeper truths hidden in popular culture. The message has to get through by any means necessary.

Jul 31: There's a time and place for enjoying a dump. It's just not in conversation with someone. Act responsibly.

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*Quote me liberally. Just say it was me.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

JDS Insights: June 2010

June was the month when the fact it was almost the end of the academic year became real. Summer was coming. And the weather began to reflect this (for once).

But I've also been thinking about how much I put up with around me - and I don't always have the courage to address. There are things I really like about myself and things that I don't. Perhaps it's part of the human experience.

This month has also been an eye-opener about my chosen profession and schools. Are they really the benevolent institutions they seem? I sometimes wonder. John Taylor Gatto doesn't think they are.

I've also had a challenging month questioning my motives for doing things. What's really guiding me? I'm far more manipulative than I give myself credit for but it's all guided by what I want: sometimes selfish, sometimes selfless.

All of this and of course the drama of the World Cup.

The only time I enter the world of giving a shit about football.

Take from these insights what you will.*

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Jun 1: Putting off starting that dream idea? Never mind just remember every day that passes is a step closer to death.

Jun 2: A relationship founded on lies will have a particular future.

Jun 3: There's nothing an open and honest conversation can't resolve.

Jun 4: Hate all you want. Just be aware that it will give you a certain kind of world.

Jun 5: God created life, the universe and everything. Therefore God created the word cunt.

Jun 6: God hides in plain sight. A bit like the Transformers.

Jun 7: I never really know how someone is going to react to me.

Jun 8: We are more insightful than we realise. Too often we just ignore our insights.

Jun 9: Truth creates a space for more to happen than hard work alone.

Jun 10: You can't avoid what you know about yourself. But what you know about yourself isn't always conscious.

Jun 11: We put up with, and can tolerate a lot more shit in our lives than we realise. Easier than using some bleach and a brush.

Jun 12: Does living virtuously make you incredibly interesting or incredibly boring?

Jun 13: I often wonder what has more effect: the teacher's lesson in the classroom, or the teacher's lesson outside the classroom.

Jun 14: Learning happens anywhere and everywhere not just in school.

Jun 15: Does school teach obedience or creativity?

Jun 16: Breathe deeply and enjoy it-you never know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Jun 17: It's the direction that you're looking that affects what you do now so consider what happens if you're always looking back.

Jun 18: The world moves fast: no past, no future, just present.

Jun 19: People know you only from what you show about yourself.

Jun 20: Being concerned about what other people think of you is different from being aware of what others think of you.

Jun 21: Being self-aware allows more freedom to choose.

Jun 22: Put less in and shrink. Put more in and grow. True on so many levels.

Jun 23: Simple pleasures make daily happiness easy.

Jun 24: There's stuff to make us smile anywhere and everywhere.

Jun 25: Intention is the difference between an innocent question and prejudice.

Jun 26: Getting clear about my intentions gets me in touch with what's really going on...even if it's not very nice.

Jun 27: Not wanting to do something you said you would do is human. Actually doing it - despite that - is something greater.

Jun 28: Anything can become truth. It just needs enough people to agree on it.

Jun 29: If you have good news, give it greater life by sharing it.

Jun 30: Keep your truth alive by being consistent with what you think, say and do.

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*blah blah blah quote the source

Monday, June 14, 2010

JDS Insights: May 2010

So I've decided to add some commentary before the insights. They sum up what's been running through my head this month and help me make sense of what's going on.

May was all about the General Election* first: hence all the posts about standing for something and politics. After that, a few things happened that got me riled. It might have been politics, it might have been stuff at school, it might have been myself - I can't quite remember which.

Then as the month went on, I've been thinking a lot about my future - my job, what I want from my life, family all that stuff. I think it's because I have a nephew - and I'm kinda jealous of my brother-in-law. I can't wait to be a dad - and doing things 'properly' has always been my M.O.**

Towards the end of the month - well - I'm always struck by how something simple like a shower breaking down or having a wasps nest can make me think about uncovering aspects of myself and my life.

Shame about the weather's inconsistency though.

Take from these insights what you will.***

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May 1: Right and wrong: interesting constructs dependent on my viewpoint.

May 2: What I say is right or wrong is a declaration of what I stand for.

May 3: Emptiness: not taking a stand.

May 4: Spineless: taking a stand for something and telling no-one.

May 5: Spiritless: taking a stand for something and constantly changing it.

May 6: Painless: taking someone else's stand.

May 7: Limitless: taking a stand for nothing.

May 8: Politicians lie.

May 9: How can I solve a problem created by thinking in one way, by thinking in the same way?

May 10: Explaining a paradigm shift is easier than causing one deliberately.

May 11: Does leading by example make someone initially appear insane?

May 12: Changing things within a closed system is a challenge. It needs anomalous actions.

May 13: Satire is the best defence against our soundbite, media-driven culture.

May 14: Anger is a fuel. Use it wisely.

May 15: Find your way of expressing anger without hurting yourself or others.

May 16: Understanding the reason you got angry allows you to tame your Devil.

May 17: Unexpressed anger has to go somewhere. Where it goes is your choice-either conscious or unconscious.

May 18: Humans are fallible. But we are also aspirational.

May 19: All thoughts have an effect on the universe.

May 20: Pain is unavoidable. How you react to it is your choice.

May 21: We are prone to acts of incredible nastiness. And also kindness.

May 22: After holding a baby I find it hard to believe that we are 'born bad'.

May 23: We are born to choose. And live with the effects of our choices.

May 24: Stuff happens because it was meant to. It's up to me where I fit in.

May 25: Nothing happens for no reason. It just depends on the extent to which you realise you are responsible.

May 26: Believing in coincidence and luck is a great way to absolve oneself of responsibility.

May 27: You can't mess with natural laws only deal with your consequences.

May 28: It is in our nature to forget our true nature. And then we're forced to make it up as we go along.

May 29: Our living space is just a reflection of our self.

May 30: Shining a light into the darkest corner of my living space is like shining a light into the darkest corners of my mind.

May 31: If I say what I want out of life, the first thing that shows up around me is all the shit that is NOT that.

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*Has that faded from our memory already to be replaced by the World Cup?
** Extra marks if someone works out what this stands for. Can't remember where I read it, but I thought it was wonderfully-business-pretentiously-cool.
*** If you like some of these words and you quote me - make sure you state the fucking source. Thank you.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Pandemics, Paedophilia and the Papacy

Aspirational and Fallible
Humans are fallible. But we are also aspirational.

We are prone to acts of incredible nastiness. And also kindness.

But I think the Pope is taking the fucking piss.

I was brought up Catholic (as I have quite frequently referred to on this blog). It can be difficult for me to separate the religion from the culture.

I remember learning about the concepts of heaven and hell, original sin, saying the rosary in school, hearing the nativity story. I was an altar boy. I had my first confession, communion and confirmation.

I am a soldier of Christ. I received the full indoctrination.

It's true you know!
But some of the stuff coming out of the Vatican is complete fucking bollocks - first up - the AIDS pandemic (it's not an epidemic).

I remember hearing and seeing a programme on TV about the official Vatican line being that condoms do not prevent AIDS.* I could barely believe what I was hearing. The pope still says that condoms could make the problem worse in Africa. He preaches abstinence and fidelity in circumstances where this is practically impossible.

Two-thirds of the global total number of people infected with HIV are in Africa.

The Pope is out of touch with reality.

Second, apart from this shit-pile, there's the stuff about paedophilia.

The 11th Commandment...
I don't think that anyone can disagree about how horrific the idea of a paedophile actually is. To most of us, we think of these people as needing a lot of help at the very least. Others feel they should be tortured and killed.

Whatever the opinion, the idea that paedophilia is - in effect - institutionalised by the Catholic Church...oh that's a whole other level of behaving like a total cunt.**

The Pope is accountable for a whole institution. He's a spiritual leader. He's a Catholic's direct line to God. His word is law (he abolished Limbo!)

He fucking knew what was going on. He was a priest. He knows what priests have to deal with. He understands what it's like to be a man.

But why isn't he being held accountable for the actions of his institution? What would happen to a Headteacher if one of the staff at their school was found to be committing paedophilia? Would it be ignored.

No of course it fucking wouldn't. All Hell would break loose.

And the best the Pope can offer is an apology?

Let's see...there have been child abuse scandals in: Germany, Switzerland, Netherlands, Austria, Ireland the U.S. and here. And that's only the ones we hear about. Brazilian Catholic author Paulo Coelho called for priests to be allowed to marry and for a civil law case to be pursued.

Richard Dawkins' idea of putting the Pope on trial and the leaked memo from a British civil servant are just media flak designed to distract and divert.

The fact is, the Pope is the head of an outdated institution that is completely missing the point of life in the 21st century. If the Catholic Church is to remain relevant it needs to listen and update itself rather than get stuck on religious dogma.

That's fair enough then...but related to this is what has really incensed me.

And that's the reaction of people in my cultural community.

I received, on three separate occasions, a request to sign an online petition to get the Pope to come to this country. This was created in response to another petition by the British Secular Society opposing a Papal visit.

Holy fuck don't these people think? Is their devotion to the Catholic faith that blind? Even more than their ability to use email properly? Instead of considering the opinion of who would be receiving the email, they just select everyone in their address book and hit the forward button...assuming everyone would be grateful to receive such bullshit in their inbox...allowing themselves to feel a semblance of participation in something they feel can give them and their narrow-minded friends the appearance of sounding intelligent.

Shut Your Fucking Mouth And Use Your Fucking Brain.***

At the end of it all I'm still left with the thought that humans are fallible.

But we are also aspirational.
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*I'm assuming that the AIDS virus actually exists for the purposes of this post

** On a side note - how come a word for female genitalia is regarded as the most offensive in the English language?

*** This is actually the title of a song by the Wildhearts


Big up Urban75 for the pics

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

JDS Insights: April 2010

Here's April.*

Apr 1: Without black and white, life would have no contrast, no grey areas and no choice.

Apr 2: When I stop speaking and giving importance to my negative bullshit, all sorts of more interesting things happen.

Apr 3: Thoughts are light-switches on the darkness of depression and the lightness of happiness. I can flick the switch.

Apr 4: I only realise how dirty my flat is once I start to clean it up. Much like my life.

Apr 5: A regular weekly clean keeps my flat better than doing it when I notice it's dirty. There's a life lesson here somewhere...

Apr 6: Once the flat is in a clean state, there's only one state its returning to...another life lesson hiding here too.

Apr 7: You don't ever get everything 'clean' in life, it's just messy, clean, messy,clean, messy, clean, dead.

Apr 8: Clean for the sake of it is pointless. Clean so things work and get done has a purpose.

Apr 9: Is cleanliness Godliness or just OCD?

Apr 10: A heartfelt smile can change everything. Shame it seems that so many can't feel their hearts.

Apr 11: If things work-yay. If they don't-just sort them out. Not. Rocket. Science.

Apr 12: Humans complicate everything and slow stuff down. The rest of nature just gets on with living.

Apr 13: Forget what you think or feel. Create your path by saying something then doing it.

Apr 14: Following what you think or feel is like being moved around by the weather.

Apr 15: Saying something then doing it is real trail-blazing.

Apr 16: Mistakes are inevitable and necessary. Learning from them is the important thing.

Apr 17: Even if you live by your word, you will break it. Learning to clear it up is the part that gets forgotten.

Apr 18: It doesn't matter how big the lie is-they're really effective for creating mess and chaos.

Apr 19: My perception is my perception. My opinion is my opinion. My truth is my truth. My reality is my reality.

Apr 20: Everyone has an opinion about everyone else's circumstances. Forcing it on someone else is when the trouble starts.

Apr 21: Who am I to pass comment on someone else's life without being asked? Oh yeah someone with hot air.

Apr 22: If you pretend you know nothing about the other person they suddenly become more interesting.

Apr 23: Ask yourself: what would the devil do? Then realise you have a choice.

Apr 24: I can get to the heart of what's going on with someone I love pretty quickly...if I shut up.

Apr 25: If I think I know what's going on with someone else - does that mean they'll know what's going on with me?

Apr 26: You make up the reason why stuff happens to you as it actually happens. Then you learn your limitations.

Apr 27: That voice in my head can get really tiring. Always so negative.

Apr 28: Sometimes it's good to be alive. Sometimes it isn't. Which is it going to be today?

Apr 29: Each choice I make is a statement of who I am.

Apr 30: Thinking and acting for oneself: to be regarded as slightly strange by everyone else.

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* If you like some of these words and you quote me - make sure you state the fucking source. Thank you.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

JDS Insights: March 2010

Here's March.*

Mar 1: Creativity is always the truth as a new generation sees it.

Mar 2: There are always just the right number of hours in a day.

Mar 3: You don't 'have to' do anything. You chose to.

Mar 4: All creativity expresses truth.

Mar 5: Choose and the world chooses with you. Don't choose and the world chooses for you.

Mar 6: There is no reason why anything happens. Until you say so.

Mar 7: Homicide. Suicide. Genocide. Infanticide. Patricide. Matricide. Deicide. Regicide. Fratricide. Now do I 'decide' or 'choose?'

Mar 8: There is freedom everywhere.

Mar 9: At a molecular level where does the air end and my body begin?

Mar 10: Understanding my dark side means I control it. Avoiding my dark side means it controls me.

Mar 11: Even with a gun pointed to my head I have a choice about my reaction.

Mar 12: Life throws stuff at you. You can catch it, drop it or it hits you in the face. Hard.

Mar 13: Being how someone else wants me to be and doing what someone else wants me to do means I don't have the life I want.

Mar 14: Hate takes so much energy and effort.

Mar 15: You have to make it up as you go along-that's what everyone else is doing. People just hide it really well.

Mar 16: What's weird for me isn't weird for someone else.

Mar 17: People mess things up. People sort stuff out. Aren't we wonderful?

Mar 18: Question everything. It makes a difference whilst keeping life interesting.

Mar 19: If I really want something, I'll find a way of doing it. If I don't, I'll get a creative excuse not to.

Mar 20: Most of what I tell myself is nonsense.

Mar 21: Why do I find it hard to hear people's compliments? It's because there's something creating interference. Tune in carefully.

Mar 22: Shut. Up. For. Just. A. Minute. See what happens when you do.

Mar 23: Who controls my thoughts? Where do they come from? You mean I'm in charge? I'm responsible? What a novel concept!

Mar 24: Who really is in charge of my life then? The invisible man in the sky or me? Hmm which option allows me to blame someone else?

Mar 25: One considered, committed action is worth ten vague, unthinking ones.

Mar 26: Effort and discipline can make more of a difference than talent in the long-run.

Mar 27: We are all going to die - that's a fact. Question is: how would I like to be remembered?

Mar 28: Enough resources? Yup. Enough technology? Yup. Enough food and water? Yup. Ending starvation and hunger? Nope.

Mar 29: Negativity and scarcity seem to be humanity's default o/s. Where's the positivity and abundance reboot?

Mar 30: Apparently, everyone gets a life o/s manual when they get language. Then we can create anything.

Mar 31: Greed and profit motive-1. Political and spiritual will to change-0.

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* If you like some of these words and you quote me - make sure you state the fucking source. Thank you.

Monday, March 15, 2010

this is me

teacher,thinker,husband,human
brother,blogger,spiritualist,son
creator,contradiction,geek,Goan
anarchist,achiever,friend,foe

this is me

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

JDS Insights: February 2010

Here's a summary of February.*

Feb 1: If my life is a mess and it's down to others I am a victim. If my life is a mess and it's down to me I am powerful.

Feb 2: Real life is real mess.

Feb 3: In the cracks of the mundane hides the profound.

Feb 4: What will you listen to today: fear or love?

Feb 5: The blood, sweat and tears of life is where things happen. Not in endless consideration about what to do.

Feb 6: Not 'know your enemy' but 'love your enemy'.

Feb 7: Love the drama. Enjoy the drama. But never forget you created the drama.

Feb 8: Anything can (and does) happen.

Feb 9: Life will continue after I die.

Feb 10: If it was 'all good' all the time life would be so boring.

Feb 11: Two ears, one mouth. Shut up.

Feb 12: Breathe in. Breathe out. And love.

Feb 13: Those moments when time is standing still because you're so 'in the zone' are God screaming at you what your life is about.

Feb 14: Now is where it all happens.

Feb 15: In life no-one can hear God scream.

Feb 16: When you are so engrossed in something time disappears-that's when you hear the heartbeat of the universe.

Feb 17: Listen in the gaps between words for the truth.

Feb 18: Always overestimate your inability to deal with truth.

Feb 19: Know fear. Know love. Know your true self.

Feb 20: What you say creates your world.

Feb 21: Know good. Know evil. Practise choice.

Feb 22: Do good. Do evil. Know the difference.

Feb 23: Is it called the 'afterlife' or 'what happens after death?'

Feb 24: In my life what I say, goes. I can either be aware of what I say and create or be blissfully ignorant and call it luck.

Feb 25: Is life a lesson? A creation? Or a lesson in creation?

Feb 26: Breathe deeply. Live slowly. Die old looking back on a full life.

Feb 27: Always overestimate your inability to listen to God.

Feb 28: Truth, authentically lived has a beauty and power all its own.

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* If you like some of these words and you quote me - make sure you state the fucking source. Thank you.

Monday, March 01, 2010

What the fuck have you done lately?

 

I'm not perfect.

Neither is the world we live in.

So I guess that makes humanity a bunch of imperfect beings in an imperfect world.

What I've alluded to in some of my previous posts is how everything is interdependent, inter-related and inter-connected.

We are all one.

This can make living 'ethically' pretty difficult. Did you notice how I put the world 'ethically' in quotes? I think I did that because it's so difficult to actually define what that means. Everyone's ethics seem to be different.

Now I describe myself as someone who constantly questions everything. I can't help it (well I can really...the truth is I'm just enjoying myself).  It's as if I'm hard-wired to take up a contradictory position on things.

To the people who haven't taken the time to get to know or understand me, I seem just seem like a pain in the backside.

I've even been loosely likened to someone who's views are "an all-encompassing straddling of the fence" who "doesn't like exclusive truth statements". Which I actually find quite funny!

That doesn't mean that I don't have a deeper purpose or set of ideals that guides me.

I just find it easier to express what I'm up to by pointing at the absurdities, difficulties and moral dilemmas we find ourselves engaged with every day. This of course happens because life is messy. Which leads back to my initial point about the interdependent nature of everything around us.

So there I am. Being my usual self. Chatting my (non)sense about anarchism, shifting consciousness and revolution. Posing the question that: if there's enough food and water to take care of everyone and the technology exists to get all these resources to everyone - why do people still die of thirst and starvation? The answer is because of greed; the profit motive.

Humanity can't share.

And the root of this is the idea of scarcity.

Scarcity is the very core of economics (a subject I love). It's the idea that there aren't enough resources to take care of our needs. So we're forced into making choices. These choices (so basic economic theory goes) dictate what gets produced and in what quantity. It's the consumer needs and profit motive that dictate our world (according to the basic theory).

So then - one of my colleagues asks me: do I get my clothes from Primark? Here's a company known for aggressive pursuit of profit by exploiting cheap labour in countries far away from the UK.

Guess what? Yes I do. I've bought clothes from Primark. I buy clothes from Primark. I'm supporting a nasty, profit-driven, bottom-line chasing corporate nightmare. The kind I always make fun of.

Does that undermine my whole argument? Yes it does. Very astutely he knew the right question to ask; he knew the answer.

This got me thinking. Living 'ethically' really is a challenge. It's so difficult to separate truth from fiction; morality from fact; advertising from information; enterprise from criminality; message from messenger...black from white...

...life is one big grey area. At least it seems to be.

His seemingly innocuous comment to derail my argument and shut me up, got me thinking about the way I live my whole life. Probably because I actually attempt to live a life consistent with what I say.

A life of principles.

But here I am - a Teacher. A Middle-Class Male. In a private school. Talking left-wing socialist politics.

And I question myself. Should I go and teach in a 'difficult' school? Should I 'do my time' where the pupils are 'challenging'? Should I be in an 'inner-city' environment with 'inner-city' issues? I question my right, my ability, my choice to teach where I do. I question what difference I can make.

I question if I should have a mortgage. If I should want nice stuff. If I should be typing this on a nice Macbook. If I should aspire to own a larger house.

I ask myself do I deserve the life I have?

After all, it's not impossible to live an 'ethical' life. I could avoid shopping at Primark. I could live according to every question I ask myself. Every judgement I subject myself to. I could. Really. But what kind of life would I have? Would I even be able to function within the system as it is?

Nope. It's the entire system that's flawed. And we're stuck in it. Paralysed slaves on both sides of the rich/ poor divide. I'm still left with: if there's enough food and water to take care of everyone and the technology exists to get all these resources to everyone - why do people still die of thirst and starvation?

Opting out is a possible choice. Making a difference from within is another. I know which one I have a talent for.*

Oh and my answer to all those earlier questions to myself? I start by looking back...and I find the answer.

My parents went through a lot to give me what I have. I've had the privilege of resources, a work ethic, family, stimulating discussion, a great education etc.

I'm not about to piss away all that good stuff.

I don't give a flying fuck where I teach as long as I'm in front of young people getting them to think. I have something - some talent, some skill, some passion for making SOMEthing happen.

That's my gift to the planet and the future. Opening minds.

People question Rage Against the Machine, Michael Moore, and Noam Chomsky (amongst others) and their politics. How does Chomsky - an anarcho-syndicalist square his politics with selling his books in shops that aim to make a profit?

The point is about getting the message out and educating people.

Everything is interdependent, inter-related and inter-connected.

We are all one.

I'm not perfect.

Neither is the world we live in.

But I know why I'm here.

So what the fuck have you done lately?

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*I think this is why I love the bands System of a Down and Rage Against the Machine.

Monday, February 01, 2010

JDS Insights: January 2010

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've started writing daily musings.

This blog is great for outlining, exploring and developing my own ideas and themes in much more depth. For short and sweet stuff, I've been using Twitter but I've always been a fan of writing short and focused stuff. I think it's because of my business placement - my first proper boss was a real inspiration to me and my writing evolved to become quite lean.

Not that I can't be wordy when I want to.

So, I've started writing and collecting my thoughts and presenting them daily. Read and make of them what you will. The ideas are timeless and based on stuff I've read and heard. I've put my own spin on them. The closest word that comes to explaining what these thoughts are, is 'aphorism'.

Here's a summary of January.*/ **

Jan 19: When you forgive someone or someone forgives you, remember to forgive yourself.

Jan 20: Never underestimate your own ability to deal with life.

Jan 21: When you tell the truth magic happens.

Jan 22: I hate my life. If you say so. I love my life. If you say so.

Jan 23: You learn the most about yourself on the edges; when things are going wrong. Just make sure you learn.

Jan 24: The possibility of choice creates the possibility of miracles.

Jan 25: Listening is everything.

Jan 26: Real life is the profound within the mundane; the reverent within the profane, and the joy within the pain.

Jan 27: There is no truth. No right answer. No absolute understanding (at least in this world). All there is, is a constant, engaging search.

Jan 28: One of life's pleasures: sitting with someone you love over breakfast and not having to say anything. Not having to fill the space with rubbish. Just being.

Jan 29: In the moment of owning the consequences of our actions we discover our power.

Jan 30: When something happens, who do you think you are? Small and inadequate or great and powerful?

Jan 31: When there's something left to say, there's unrest. When there's nothing left to say, there's peace.

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* This is going to become a regular post. Can you tell?

** If you like some of these words and you quote me - make sure you state the fucking source. Thank you.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

From the Shinings of my Reflections: 2010

This post has grown from my Reflections on 2009.

After reflecting it makes sense to look forward and create. I'm enjoying doing this. First there was the Sign "☮" the Times in 2008, then there was Flash-Back, Flash-Forward in 2009 so here are some things that 2010 will be for me.*

Now I'm not necessarily one for setting specific goals or 'resolutions' as such. That doesn't mean I don't have things that I'm not committed to achieving. Not at all. Me being 'anal' and getting what I want out of life seems to annoy some people who know me.

That's up to them.

Something I've come to enjoy in the last year, is picking a particular quality to engage with and then enjoying what shows up. This relates to some stuff I've read and heard that who you're 'being' will give rise to what you 'do' and therefore what you 'have'. If I'm 'being' happy, then I'll 'do' the things that happy people 'do' and 'have' the things that happy people 'have'. Equally if I'm 'being' angry I'll 'do' the things that angry people 'do' and I'll 'have' the things that angry people 'have'.

Not sure I've explained that very well...but it kinda relates to one thing I chose last year, namely 'trusting the process of life' and I quote from my Flash-Back, Flash-Forward post:
But trusting the process of life is akin to using the Force (yes alright I had to get Star Wars into it somewhere for fuck's sake). Trusting God. Listening to Buddha. Walking through Dharma. Following the Tao. Whatever you call it.
Engaging with that in the last year has had all sorts of things show up. It's only looking back that I can see what it gave rise to. I mean I have no clue what the future holds - only a pretty clear idea of what I'm up to - but that future could be all sorts of things.

Even miraculous things.

Hahahahahah...there I said it!

So 2010. Here are the three themes. One is a specific, two are 'being' thingies.

1) Creating a house, a home and everything in it...
Kinda obvious this one and it's the specific. After last year. I was chatting with her a couple of days ago and she asked if we could have bought a house given last year's circumstances. I replied I thought we could - if we could have seen how the year would pan out - only it's not that easy to predict the future. Part of me can't help but think a smooth life would be a boring life (a bit like flat-lining).

So yeah - 2010 will be our chance to move into a house.

Of course a house needs a valid reason for having three bedrooms. The house is the foundation for a family. Some people think that their whole purpose in life is to create a family. To propagate their genes. To keep the species going. Who knows?

Well as far as I can tell, one's whole purpose in life is down to what one chooses.

And having a house is definitely building the foundation for a family.

So many of my contemporaries are doing it or have done it. I've even had some tell me I'm taking my time.

Well I'll do things my way thank-you-very-much.

Besides, creating a home is much bigger than just the house.

2) Completion
Related to the whole house thingy this is a being thingy. I speak to one of my close friends twice a week to empty my head of what's going on so I can make up the next experience. A bit like Dumbledore and his Pensieve it just means I don't have to carry around any more nonsense in my head than I already do.

Now the thing is, saying something like this means the first thing that I'm going to start noticing are all the things that are NOT complete. It's already happening. I'm seeing the things I put on my to-do list (of course I have one of those - what kind of Android-using geek would I be without one?) ages ago that I haven't done. Uh-oh.

Completion is also a bit more than getting things done. It's one of the 'being thingies'.** I'll explain it by quoting one of my Daily Insights:***
When there's something left to say, there's unrest. When there's nothing left to say, there's peace.
I suppose it's a bit like what Hollywood/ Cheesy TV calls closure. You know - when one door closes another opens...that kind of thing. You get it now? That's my first Being Thingy for the year.

3) Power
Now I'm not talking about some Greyskull He-Man phenomenon here. Dictionary.com says (along with other stuff)

- Noun
1. ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something
I'm taking that ability to do or act a bit further. I've heard it described as the amount of time between saying something is going to happen and it actually happening. The quicker it happens in reality, the more power one has.

Now I know I've gone all conceptual, abstract and maybe even all weirdo but we all have it inside us. This particular Being Thingy is best expressed by Coach Carter's question: What is your deepest fear?

Here's what one of his students responded:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Those words were written by Marianne Williamson.

So I'm engaging my deepest fear.

Or said even better - conquering my Dark Side.

Hah - had to get Star Wars in there.

And that's number three!

2010...let the roller-coaster begin...

Oops it has already.

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*I aim to be doing this when I'm old. Oh wait - according to some I am already!


** At this point I realise that I'm using this phrase quite a bit...because I quite like it. Being Thingies. I'll capitalise it from now on.


*** I've started my own daily musings. I'll do one for January on this blog soon. Watch this space. If you think it's pretentious - good! Hehehe. Now write your own.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Unpredictable

Sometimes life throws stuff at you.

You can catch it, drop it or it hits you in the face. Hard.

Well perhaps that's a bit unfair because some might say that life is a created out of our own thoughts and intentions. We're spiritual beings experiencing the physical.

Whatever.

Sometimes things happen that you don't expect to have to deal with. And guess what. You deal with them.

Never underestimate your own ability to deal with life.

I said that. I wrote that. I've learned that. You can quote me on it* - as long as you attribute me as the source.

*It was profound enough for my friend to re-tweet it. He's even started a blog.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Reflections. 2009

My blog has charted the progress I've made in my life.

The passing of one year into the next is always my time for reflection. Perhaps it's a little self-indulgent, but I enjoy it. I think it helps me.

This year has thrown up a few ideas...and of course from these I'll be thinking about 2010.

Here are my standout moments from 09.

1. I Can Follow A Recipe
Until this year, I never experienced being in the kitchen as something that was particularly enjoyable, or even relaxing. This year I've enjoyed getting on with stuff. I don't really care that I like to follow instructions. I don't care that perhaps it's 'anal'. I'm not bothered about being a great chef.

But I like making something that tastes nice!

And I really indulged that this year with cakes and sweets. I don't think I could have predicted making a pavlova for family Christmas celebrations! I've always felt that doing something like that is a bit like opening yourself up, only to be stomped on. Families are brilliant at that because they know everything there is to know.

I'm just glad it went down well and met with a few seals of approval.

I made other stuff through the year - it wasn't all just desserts - but I think the wider aspect of the cooking was the entertaining. It's not just about the food, but about making people feel at home. The fact that we created the food ourselves is an added bonus, and makes the whole experience more personal.

When I eat, I'm not that fussy - I enjoy most stuff. I know people who cook what tastes nice to them. I've always felt nervous about cooking to what I like because I don't think others would eat it. By sticking to the recipes, it at least keeps the stuff I've made vaguely edible for other people around me.

But perhaps they're able to do that because they have 'good taste' in the wider sense of the meaning. They know what works together to create something. I'm not so good at that with cooking, but I can do it in other areas of life. Who knows.

Food has been enjoyable in 09.

2. Achieving 192 bpm using downstrokes for Master of Puppets
This is actually quite a big deal because it demonstrates progress to myself. Ever since I was about 17 when I first learned the song, I always played it with alternate picking. James Hetfield plays the song with downstrokes only. Whenever I've tried playing the song with downstrokes, I've barely managed above 150bpm. But - nothing succeeds like practising - and I'm now up much higher!

This achievement indicates a wider improvement in my ability with the guitar. I thought I had reached a plateau. This proves to me there's no such thing - there's always the next level. It's becoming more and more about how I express myself using a guitar.

The actual song is around 216bpm. One day I'll get there.

Guitar has been good in 09.

3. 333 days of the Shaolin Workout
During 09 the workout I learned in 08 became habit. The 333 days of the year included 93 consecutive days.

Obsessive? Perhaps. I don't give a fuck because the mental, physical and spiritual benefits are worth it.

And like playing guitar - there are never-ending levels of progress to work towards.

Flexibility has been fine in 09.

4. Chocoholism
Ok I'm only half serious about this. But I know I have a sweet tooth. And I do love chocolate. I could quite easily eat chocolate all day.

I think it's probably quite similar to any drug. Perhaps I associate a particular emotional state with the consumption of chocolate. Or maybe the taste itself stimulates a section of my brain that leaves me wanting more.

Whatever it is, during 09 I became more aware of my own desire for chocolate. I don't think it was strongly apparent previously. I've just made it more dramatic for attention-seeking purposes probably.

Chocolate revealed itself as my Dark Side in 09.

5. Android
Forget the iPhone. My piece of technology this year has been my HTC Hero. Not so much for the phone itself but more for its OS. I loved Palm and its simplicity - it was my first PDA and Smartphone. Making the jump to Windows Mobile felt like a retrograde step - especially after acquiring my Macbook (which is still functioning adequately after two years!)

But watching and reading all the information was interesting. An iPhone was never quite my thing - it just wasn't customisable enough for me. And the Palm Pre wasn't available quick enough for my impatient mind.

Of course the truly interesting thing about the Hero as I've mentioned is the Android OS - which was built from the ground up as open source with Google behind it.

Say what you want, but I'm a fan of Google's products and I use them for getting things done.

The ultimate endorsement of my phone came in the form of someone I know getting the same phone as me - and them enjoying using it too.

Geekness vindicated in 09.

6. The Year of (Not) House
Frustrating, annoying and disappointing. Difficult circumstances. But that doesn't mean shit really! The Year of the (Not) House meant the mini-D'Souza plan is also on hold. As I've said before - I/ we march to the beat of my/ our own drum.

It's gonna happen - just never conventionally. (See number 8. below).

No House in Oh Nine.

7. Affirmations Work
This has surprised me a little. Reflecting on 09 has made me understand just how powerful they are. And I mean affirmations in the Louise Hay sense of the term. I use them every day. And when I don't - all sorts of nonsense occurs!

Someone I know used them to great effect this year.

Affirmations effected change in 09.

8. Trusting the process of life
Tough one this. Something I explored in 09. And was challenged everywhere. Looking back on the difficult circumstances earlier in the year, it's possible to say that it benefited me in the long run.

Easy to say with hindsight. Fucking hard when you're in the middle of it.

Some part of me kept looking beyond. The edge of my consciousness kept a nudging little thought that 'there has to be more than this' like 'a splinter in my mind'.* That's what kept me going. Steve Jobs refers to this as 'connecting the dots looking forward'.

Some people call this fate or 'everything happens for a reason'. This doesn't quite explain it for me because it smacks of abdicating responsibility for oneself. I made a conscious choice to at the beginning of 09 to trust the process of life. IMHO this only has an effect if one is clear about what one is creating...and that's the hard part.

Do you know what you want?

Or said in a better way - do you know what you're creating?

Or said in an even better way - 'Use the Force'.

Trust was out there in 09.

9. Growth at Work
This is also the most obvious area where 'trusting the process of life' showed up. I'm getting to take on a greater accountability at school, and I got to mentor a trainee teacher. These are things which I'd talked about a few years ago, but hadn't really done much about.

As it happened, the first involved specific actions: conversations, appraisals, demonstrating my own skills etc. The second involved taking on an opportunity that presented itself - and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Perhaps I took the 'Master' and 'Apprentice' thing too literally, but it had me up my game, and I'm pretty sure it had a positive effect on my 'Padawan learner' (not sure he'd appreciate that...but he knows I'm a [Star Wars] geek).

Aside from that, I organised 'Enterprise Week' at Ewell Castle. It wasn't necessarily agreed that I would; it wasn't promoted that I would - I just went ahead and pretty much did it. And got some feedback from everyone involved (good stuff and bad stuff!) It was a good experience putting something together that affected the whole school...it just meant that the run-up to Christmas was particularly mental!

Work was good to me; I was good to work - in 09.

Hah! I've actually just realised - that's 9 moments for 09.
A fortuitous piece of writing? Fate? The Gods communicating with me? The Language of the World?

Whatever it is...10 will be interesting - because I'm not going to write 10 for 10. Ten is too much. Perhaps I'll do Ten Moments from Twenty Ten at the end of the year. For now...well I'm still thinking...something will emerge from the ashes of this post. Or should I say, from the shinings of these reflections.

Here's to an unwritten future.

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*to paraphrase Morpheus